She-Ra T-Shirt – Eternian Girls Are Hot

June 27, 2012 § Leave a comment

He-Man Tee

All girls should wear this. Always. ALWAYS!

Although this She-Ra T-Shirt is one for the ladies, it’s also one for the men because if you were growing up in the 1980s, the idea of a woman wearing this is, to put it gentlemanly, enchanting.

In what is quickly becoming 1980s Cartoon T-shirts week on BSTs, this She-Ra tee is the perfect fit. Also, I haven’t reviewed a girl’s t-shirt in a while (the chance would be a fine thing *slaps self*) and this, like the cartoon, pays homage to something that both boys and girls in the 80s could appreciate. When I was growing up, there were certain shows that, as a boy, were considered unwatchable and completely yucky. They tended to revolve around talking pink horses. But She-Ra was kind of ok. She was He-man’s sister and she kicked ass so as a boy, you could watch it. You were also aware that She-ra herself was amazing in ways you could not yet comprehend. Well, with age comes comprehension, and now comes this t-shirt, which is just great. Girls, if you wear this, guys will appreciate it even more than a skimpy bikini top. Well, us geeky guys anyway.

This wonderful t-shirt comes not from Castle Grayskull, but from – fine purveyors of geekery that they are. It’ll cost you between $19.99 and $20.99 and it comes only in white. But it does have a cape and sword printed on the back. Before Skinny, there was Sexy, and Sexy learnt all it now knows from this t-shirt.


Danger Mouse T-Shirt – Good grief…

June 26, 2012 § Leave a comment

dm t-shirt

If you don’t think Danger Mouse rules, you’re weird.

This Danger Mouse T-Shirt serves two purposes. One, it’s awesome because DM is awesome, and b) there are some people in the world today who don’t know who Danger Mouse is, and I find that terrifying and upsetting.

If you’re not familiar with this particular 80s Cartoon, it means you’re younger than me and therefore your brain doesn’t work properly. Sorry, after my generation, they ran out of good taste and proper cognitive reasoning. To catch you up, Danger Mouse is the greatest secret agent in the world. He has an eyepatch, a flying car and a Penfold – his assistant who also happens to be a bespectacled hamster. They are sent on missions by the bumbling Colonel K (an old English chinchilla) that often involve taking on the evil Baron Greenback (toad) and his pet Nero (caterpillar) and Stiletto the crow, his assistant. It was the first real cartoon that was meant to entertain Adults and Children, and the voices of DM and Penfold come from British comedy legends David Jason and Terry Scott. Oh, and Danger Mouse lives in a red post box in London. If what I just wrote doesn’t make you think DM is awesome, your brain doesn’t work properly and you should look to return it.

If you’re already a fan, you’ll agree that this t-shirt is a great retro reminder of an excellent show. You can grab it for yourself on where it costs £21.99 (plus £1.95 p&p) and is available in five sizes from S to XXL (though at the time of writing this, XXL was temporarily out of stock). And in the immortal words of Penfold “Ooh ‘eck! Ooh crumbs! Ooh carrots!”

Frankenstein T-Shirt – It’s Monster!

June 20, 2012 § Leave a comment

monster tee

Nnnnggguuuurrrrr… (that’s my Frankenstein’s Monster impression by the way)

I think everyone should have a Frankenstein T-Shirt. Why would you not want one? Frankenstein’s monster was a man-built super-zombie who seeks nothing more than love and humanity but just keeps killing people. What’s not to love!?
The monster that you see on the front of this Monster Tee is the one made famous by Boris Karloff in 1931, an iconic image which remains recognisable and haunting to this day. When creating this t-shirt, the good folks at Beckett & Beckett have introduced that face to the ideals of pop art, making it burst from the from the chest like the offspring of a facehugger from Alien. It gives this a striking contrast when you marry the mournful eyes and grim expression with the pinky-purple that would get a nod of approval from Andy Warhol. An excellent t-shirt for film fans and mad scientists alike. The moral of this story being: if you insist on playing God, don’t send Igor for the brain, and always remember to paint the dead dude pinky-purple too because he’ll look awesome.
I spotted this on where it’ll set you back £19.00 or about $31.00 depending on whether you call them checks of cheques. It’s available in black or blue and sizes range from S-XL. I shall now watch my favourite bit of Frankenstein-related media. Enjoy!

Beard T-Shirt – I need you all to believe this is true.

June 20, 2012 § Leave a comment

beard tee

Coincidentally, this t-shirt’s colour is also very similar to that of my beard.

This beard t-shirt I proclaim to be above all others. I do so for two reasons. a) I have a beard, and b) because I need it to start deceiving people into thinking I’m not some sort of hairy monster.

I imagine you asking “Why not just shave it off then, and revel the handsome man beneath?” Well, the God’s honest truth is that beneath this beard (indicating the one on my chin) is not a handsome man. It’s true, I’m somewhat troll-like – or I would be if not for the beard and the fact that all the trolls signed a petition and asked me to stop using their appearance as a way to describe my own as they considered this to be derogatory towards all trollkind. As you can probably tell, I’m in a bit of a funk right now. But that’s why I need a) a laugh and b) to see a few more smiles. This beard tee is great for creating both and it’s a sentiment that has long-deserved to be emblazoned on a chest.

You can pick this t-shirt up from where it’ll set you back £14.99 and comes in three colours and five sizes ranging from Small to XXL. I shall now attempt to destroy all the razors in the world to ensure this beard can never be removed.

Subbuteo T-Shirt – Now that’s my kind of sporting activity!

June 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

table football tee

Flicking Awesome.

This Subbuteo T-Shirt represents my ideal of sport. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching sport as much as the next man, but when it comes to playing, I’m carrying a little too much weight these days to try anything other than Sumo Wrestling or… nope, that’s about it.

If you didn’t grow up with Subbuteo, you missed out. Flicking those little guys around a green mat in a cardboard stadium you’d built yourself from cereal boxes was a lot of fun. You had to be really good at flicking stuff, and if it hadn’t have been for Subbuteo teaching me this life skill, I’d be all the poorer for it. I can’t say I’ve played it for years, but I wouldn’t mind giving it a go again. As the European Championships are in full swing right now, I thought I should review a football tee – even if it’s a table football tee. I think this looks great, incorporating the image of the little man into a badge that makes it look like an actual football club is a spiffing idea. Besides, the only other football-themed tees I could find were hopelessly patriotic verging on nationalistic. This is a nice, light-hearted change that’ll make your friends smile.

The kudos for this t-shirt goes to Subbuteo Shirts and this particular tee comes to you from Cafe Press. It comes in three neutral shades and six sizes, with S – XL costing £16.50 (it’s on sale at the moment) with two larger sizes at £19.00. So grab yourself the tee, find a box of subbuteo on ebay and get flicking! If you’re like me, you’ll class it as a sport.

Controller Family Tree T-Shirt – That fruit ruined my thumbs.

June 14, 2012 § Leave a comment

controller tee

The best way to go green.

The Controller Family Tree t-shirt represents a large chunk of my life. In fact, it represents the best chunk of my life. All those hours spent, thumbs twitching, eyes bleeding… Good times.

Whether it was making Mario jump on stuff, making Tony Hawk pull off a ridiculous flat-land combo (despite him being a ramp skater), hacking my way through a billion goblins in Hyrule or simply fishing for bass, controllers have always been my friend. My constant companion. From the joystick to the Wii-mote (which isn’t on here as it has no wire) and beyond, up until my teenage years, it was the best thing I could have in my hand. Then I discovered smoking (I know what you were thinking – pervert!) but that just led me to work out ingenious ways to smoke and play video games at the same time. This controller tee reminds me of so many hours spent leveling up, killing stuff, solving puzzles and other worthwhile pursuits. It’s a fantastically designed shirt, and the way the wires make up the trunk and leaves is oh so clever. Any gamer would be proud to sport this t-shirt. Probably for several days at a time in a dark room.

So where can you get this homage to the history or arthritis? It comes from the Nerd-vana that is where it’s available (only in green) in sizes S-XXL. And it’s a snip at only $24.99 too. Now I feel the urge to go kill some stuff on my tv. Which is a good thing.

Whale T-Shirt – Making the best of the water.

June 11, 2012 § Leave a comment

whale tee

No jokes about colourful blowholes allowed.

I love this Whale T-shirt. And it’s particularly apt on days like today when I’m completely drenched thanks to the torrential downpours that come with the British summertime. Whales live in water, and apparently so do I.

Whales are aquatic mammals. So are British people. We thrive in rain, they thrive in water. Put us out on a beach in the sunshine and neither of us fair too well. They die, we, as British people, go through some odd form of metamorphosis whereby we turn into this sort of saggy lobster – all red and wobbly. It’s not a good look. So as I sit here, ringing out my clothing and praying that my keyboard is waterproof, it seems proper to celebrate Mr Whale (or indeed Mrs Whale) and this t-shirt does that quite well. The Whale Tee takes our chunky water-bound-yet-air-breathing kin and gives him a splash of magic. From the nonplussed expression on his face to the rainbow bursting from his blowhole (don’t laugh) it’s a fantastic looking garment is this.

This tee comes to you from the good folks at Monster Threads and was designed by Nicholas Gouny. I grabbed mine from where it’ll set you back £24 and a little p&p. It only comes in black (no white whales – sorry Queequeg and Ahab) and in sizes small, large and XL. So throw away your harpoon and get this whale instead.

Big Lebowski T-Shirt – The Dude Abides…

June 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

abides t-shirt

At least I’m housebroken.

This Big Lebowski T-Shirt combines two of my favourite things of all time. A great movie that I still quote (much to the annoyance of many) even today, and street art. The Abide T-Shirt makes an homage to both of those things and that’s why I think it’s awesome.

I’ve been looking for a good Big Lebowski tee for a while now. An ex-girlfriend  bought me one once but the stitching dissolved after a single wash. And then I found this. I feel like I should be smoking a J while looking over my shoulder as well. This tee combines the wonders of the Coen brothers’ 1998 hit with the work of Shepard Fairey, creator of the “OBEY” street art (amongst other things). I’m a big fan of his work too, so this is like killing two birds with one stone. And El Duderino would be proud of such an association and therefore, this makes a t-shirt that will be worthy of the phrase “Hey! Nice marmot!” or something similar at least.

It’s quite hard to find though (apparently) and it took a little bit of trawling the net to find a vendor, but I did of course. You can grab this at for the price of £11.33, where it comes only in black with sizes going from Small to XXXXXL (though the larger ones will set you back an extra £1.89). I hope to get one for myself soon, and I’m sorry your stepmother is a nympho.

Bad Weather T-Shirt – Let it rain…

June 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

rain t-shirt

The perfect t-shirt for a rainy day.

This Bad Weather T-Shirt is ideal for a day like today. It’s raining persians and pomeranians, the sky has the complexion of concrete and I ain’t setting foot outdoors. Good ol’ British summer. *scowls through window at weather*

Yep. It’s raining. And, having just checked the weather forecast for the next few days here in London – it looks like it’s going to keep raining for the foreseeable future. Great. Spiffing. Fan-effing-tastic. I’m usually the sort of annoying person who says things like “well, it’ll make the flowers grow” but even my optimistic outlook has been hit by a cold front. So I decided to try and find a t-shirt that could do something about it. Designed by LouLou & Tummie, you can’t help but cheer up a little when looking at this tee. If bad weather really was as cute as this, it wouldn’t be nearly so bad. Imagine looking up into the thunderheads and seeing a grumpy face – I could live with that.

You can pick this t-shirt up at MySoti for about $28 and you’ll brighten up any gloomy day. There are sizes for girls and guys and it comes in black or grey. I shall now look forward to day after day of bad weather by listening to depressing music and watching bad films. If only I had this t-shirt…

Alternative Jubilee T-Shirt – Spirit of ’77

June 3, 2012 § Leave a comment

sex pistols t-shirt

God save the Queen…

Here is your Alternative Jubilee T-Shirt, brought to you courtesy of 1977 and, of course, the Sex Pistols. But oddly, despite promoting this today, I’m actually a bit of a royalist. Doesn’t make sense does it?

When I say that I’m a royalist, it’s because I consider myself to be a historian. The monarchy provides this amazing link with history – a continuity (except for the bit with Oliver Cromwell) that very few countries have. Think of the history lessons you had at school – wherever you are, I bet you learnt about at least one British King or Queen. And Betty does a pretty good job too, bringing in tourists and opening stuff. What I don’t get is the mindless flag-waving of my fellow subjects. I don’t get why we have to spend so much money on her to celebrate a day 60 years ago that means nothing to most of us. And most people are dumb enough to call it a Union Jack when it’s on land too! So today, I’m going very 1977. My punkiness is coming through. I shall shortly head off to start spitting on people. And I will be wearing this too.

Pick up your own iconically punk Sex Pistols T-Shirt by heading over to electric t-shirts where a bit of rebellion (if you forget about the butter adverts) will set you back a paltry £12.95. There are five sizes from Small to XXL. Now go shave your head, put on your bomber jacket and your DMs and lets have a proper celebration of Britishness.

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