Music Tree T-Shirt – A sound garment.

November 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

Music T-Shirt

“You are the music while the music lasts” – T.S. Eliot

The week is over, and the weekend is just beginning. This is a time for celebration, and this means a bit of music. Therefore, I have found the Music Tree T-Shirt – And now for something a little different…

Rather than just waffle on like I always do, I thought I’d give you a run-down of the first ten songs that appear on my iPod. I’ll do no shuffling or skipping – it’ll just be the first ten. Here goes.

  • Nothing But A Good Time – Reel Big Fish – a Ska-punk cover of the Poison classic. Foot -tapping rating: 8/10.
  • Summerholidays Vs. Punkroutine – Refused – Nice, bass-driven heavy punk with tortured vocals and a somewhat funky rhythm. Head-nodding rating: 7/10
  • You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere – Brett Dennen – A beautiful cover of the Dylan classic. Head-swaying rating: 7/10
  • Auto Pilot – Queens of the Stone Age – A mellow, almost “lazilly drugged” turn from a brilliant band. Desire-to-take-narcotics rating: 8/10
  • Rain – The Cult – Great rock n’ roll. Solid bass, wailing guitars and great vocals and lyrics. Sing-in-the-shower rating: 8/10
  • Electric Worry – Clutch – Down South blues rock with a rusted, jagged edge. Desire-to-neck-a-bottle-of-bourbon rating: 7/10
  • Last Leaf – OK Go – Moving and very sweet acoustic number with rich, rustic sound-engineering. Want-to-cry rating: 8/10
  • Swagger Of Thieves – HLAH – Boisterous, swaggering return from one of the best bands to ever come out of NZ. Desk-head-banging rating: 9/10
  • Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright – Bob Dylan – One of the most honest and human sentiments ever expressed in music. Knowing-nod rating: 9/10
  • Rock Box – Run DMC – Rap royalty combining super-clever lyricism and glam metal aesthetics perfectly. Desire-to-wear-an-adidas-tracksuit rating: 9/10

So that’s what I listened to while I wrote this post. And this Music Tee was the perfect visual accompaniment. It’s excellently designed, playful and original. It was created by Auraclover whose entire range is something to be admired. You can find this tee on spreadshirt.com where it costs $22.20, comes in lots of colours and sizes from S-XXL. And boy, am I relieved that none of my truly embarrassing musical tastes cropped up in that selection!

 

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Ladies Moustache T-Shirt – Thanks to all Bros and Sistas.

November 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

Congratulations to all who took part in Movember.

As today is the last day of Movember, I’m already starting to grow my beard back (it’s been darn cold without it) and I thought we ought to take a look at another Mo Shirt – this time, a Ladies Moustache T-Shirt.

It’s been an interesting month. As already covered, it’s been chilly without the normal (almost excessive) level of face fuzz. Instead, I’ve been sporting a lip-slug only. Some look at it with envy, others with confusion, but very few with derision. It has received compliments about its bushiness and pleasing lines, and, most importantly, it’s raised some dosh to help fight the twin horrors that are prostate and testicular cancer. The way I see it, the more I do to raise the money now, the less likely it will be that in 30 years I’ll have the cold hands of a strange doctor probing areas I’d rather he or she weren’t probing. If I suffer the slightest touch of facial hypothermia now, I’ll keep foreign hands away from my foreign parts in the distant future. Sounds like a darn good deal to me. And I’m betting that anyone suffering from these man-cancers today would tell you it’s a good deal too. If you want to help out a bit, and fight the good fight against your own potentially-unruly organs, you can still donate. Just go to movember.com and donate what you can afford. Say “Yes”, or in the case of this fine looking t-shirt, “Oui” to Movember, and “Non!” to cancer.

This is a t-shirt for women, and I wanted to include this because so many Mo Bros have been supported by Mo Sistas this year. On behalf of all men: ladies, thank you. You can grab this fun and striking t-shirt from notonthehighstreet.com. It has been brought to you by Not For Ponies and comes in four women’s sizes (I have no idea what they mean – unless it’s S to XL, I have no clue). To all taking part in Movember – well done!

 

Glennz Tees – Some more great designs.

November 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

Clockwise from top left: Arch Enemies, Gummi Alien, Practice Range, Air Guitar.

A few months back, I looked at a selection of my favourite Glennz Tees, and now I’m going to look at even more of them. Why? Because they’re just too damn awesome.

Why don’t I focus on one at a time like I do with all the other tees? Well, if I did that, there’d be a Glennz t-shirt reviewed and talked about every day. The output of quality, wonderful t-shirts is just too good and I may as well have just called this the bigscaryglennztees blog. I’m not gushing or sucking up – just go take a look at their site and see if you can find a bad design. I can’t. Each tee has me amused, ranging from quiet giggles to full on RAOTFLMAOYSST (Rolling Around On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off Yet Somehow Still Typing – I stole that from Bill Bailey). Because of this exceptional pedigree in tee production, I’ve picked out another four faves. Don’t forget that Christmas is coming and these will make great gifts for t-shirt fans. So, going clockwise from top left we have…

Arch Enemies – Do penguins even know what bats look like? I hope so.

Gummi Alien – Chest-bursters have never been so delicious.

Practice Range – No need to carp on about this one.

Air Guitar – New meaning to the term “Pump up the music”

All of these shirts cost $21.95 and come in plenty of sizes and the colours shown. Glennz don’t do massive runs of their shirts, so if you want one, it’s always best to act with alacrity and fork over the moolah pronto. I dare say I’ll pick out even more of their tees for this blog soon, so keep reading for future updates.

 

Take The Pith T-Shirt – Orange you glad I found this one.

November 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

Have a zest for life? Need a gift for a new squeeze?

I’ve admired this tee for a long time now, and for some reason, I never put it onto this blog. Now’s the time to set that straight. here, for your pleasure, is the Take The Pith T-Shirt. Enjoy.

Now, I could just take this opportunity to come up with a vast array of fruit-based puns and, in part, I shall. However, I shall also wax lyrical about the excellent design qualities of this tee. Add a cute illustration to a clever pun and stick it onto a t-shirt, I’m going to enjoy it, and this is one of the best I’ve seen. It’s brought to you by Sparrow Legs, a student (although the bio was created some time ago so let’s hope they got a job) who appears to have only designed a single tee. Well, if you’re going to do one, make it a good one, though with talent like this we must hope for more of these designs in the future. Now, back to the punning. Though one could talk at length about what’s so a-peeling about this shirt, the idea is pipped to the post by the idea of some ripe punning. Citric to making good puns… actually, that’ll do. I’m starting to give myself a headache. Kumquat may, this is a good t-shirt, and… *dies of over-punning*

So, get this Orange T-shirt (which technically isn’t an orange t-shirt – it’s green, but then you do get green oranges…) by heading over to spunky.co.uk. It’s only available in sizes small and XL at the moment, but it’s reduced slightly to £22.49 at the time of writing, so grab it quick to save. I’m now off to have punning therapy. I obviously have a problem.

 

Private Eye T-Shirt – We need more like Ian Hislop.

November 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

That quote cost £60,000. Not bad for seven words.

In a nation suffering under an evil coalition, an uninspiring opposition, austerity, corporate greed and elitism, we need a publication that exposes and attacks it all. And we have one, which is why I went looking for a Private Eye T-Shirt.

I found this Ian Hislop T-Shirt. For those who don’t know, Ian Hislop is the editor of Private Eye Magazine, a British institution and one of the few magazines that I actually read on a regular basis. He also appears on Have I Got News For You, the BBC’s long running satirical news show, often confronting those guilty of any sort of indiscretion with his cheeky smile (which I imagine is incredibly irksome for anyone who has it directed at them). Private Eye (once owned by Peter Cook) has been reviewing the press and politicians for decades now. In fact, the publication recently turned 50. If you’re a journalist and you find yourself in the Street of Shame pages, it means that your rank hypocrisy or shoddy research has been exposed. If you’re a politician or a business-person and you appear anywhere else in its pages, it means you’re probably cooking the books, fiddling the numbers or doing something rather naughty that you shouldn’t be doing. It’s vital that people continue to read the Eye because it provides a humorous expose of the evils that those with power are doing. And it has never been afraid to say what others won’t. Hislop is the most sued man in Britain and the quote that features on this tee almost cost £600,000 when he made the remark after the wife of the Yorkshire Ripper sued the Eye for damages in 1989 after claims that she had done a deal with newspapers to sell her story (the figure was reduced on appeal). On this occasion, the Eye was wrong, but Hislop says what a lot of people think, and has never been scared to do so, despite knowing the court-time it will probably involve and the money he will probably lose (having won just two of his dozens of court cases). He fights like a cheeky schoolboy, against monsters of politics, journalism and business, and the best bit is that they’re all scared of him.

And you can get this t-shirt from redmolatov.com where it’ll cost you between £9.99 and £17.99, depending on the style. Lots of colours and lots of sizes to choose from. And I’ll leave you with another quote from Hislop that sums up exactly what he does best: “the best comedy is where you attack the strong, not the weak”.

 

Christmas T-Shirt – My sentiments exactly.

November 28, 2012 § Leave a comment

christmas t-shirt

This t-shirt’s a cracker.

Bah, and indeed, humbug. I’m not normally down on Christmas, but this year, I’m really not feeling it, and as the happy day approaches, I shall be wearing this Christmas T-Shirt.

I work in an industry where people start planning for Christmas in June. By the time I get to the end of November, I’d happily stuff Santa Claus into his own sack with a couple of bricks and through him into the Thames. If Christmas dinner were up to me, I’d serve reindeer steak in the hope that I’d get Rudolph. I shall be putting a bear-trap in the fire grate. I have no problem with some people celebrating the birth of Christ (if that’s your bag, good luck to you) or enjoying family, but I do take issue with mindless flocks worshipping Coca Cola’s Santa Claus® and all of the greed that goes with it. I’m going to have to go and elbow my way through the shops, stepping on small children and fighting people who would be sane and courteous at any other time of year, just to get some gifts. I’ll have to put up with the stench of mulled wine in the pubs I frequent. Brussels sprouts will rear their ugly, smelly, green heads again. Trains and traffic will be a nightmare. All that God-awful music that gets vomited into my ears day after day after day. It’s cold, it’s dark and quite frankly, I’d rather saw off my own foot with a blunt plastic ruler dipped in vinegar and salt than suffer through everyone forcing themselves to be jolly again. I can only hope that my grim, dark mood infects those around me this time and we can forget the whole stupid thing. When I read history, I was never a big fan of Oliver Cromwell, but when I found out that he made celebrating Christmas illegal, I really warmed the miserable git.

And what shall the uniform of this particular Scrooge be this year? Why, it’ll be this tee which sums up my feelings both accurately and succinctly. I found it at Spreadshirt.com where it costs $22.70. It comes in a variety of colours and sizes range from small to XXL. Now, if someone could please inject my mince pie with a strong sedative, I can sleep through the whole rotten thing.

 

Ninja T-Shirt – End of an era (that nobody saw)

November 27, 2012 § Leave a comment

Turtles T-Shirt

All we’ve got left are turtles. *sad face*

It’s only right that I take a look at a Ninja T-Shirt today, after yesterday’s sad news that Ninjas will soon be extinct and a thing of the past. Of course, we still have the Turtles, but even they’re not safe.

It’s true. It’s tragic, but it’s true. Those men of legend, dressed in black and carrying more weaponry than a small army are to become a thing of the past. According to the last two ninjas in Japan, they’re just not dangerous enough anymore. In the modern age, an age of guns and the internet, an age of nuclear power, there is no place left for the humble ninja. The last masters of this art, Kawakami and Hatsumi, have decided not to name heirs, meaning that after them, there will be no true ninjas ever again. All we will have left are the history books, and the vast collection of films, characters and comic books inspired by these silent and deadly assassins. The most famous of these would be the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those instantly recognisable heroes in a half-shell. Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael may not be real, but they’ll be the closest thing we have to real ninjas in no time at all. The only problem with this though, is that their future, in the form of a new film, has been entrusted to Michael Bay. They may as well prostrate themselves before Shredder now and let him finish them off. Bay likes to ruin things from my childhood. He already took the Transformers and defiled them, and not long ago he announced that the Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles would be aliens rather than mutants because mutants just aren’t believable. Thank God he never got let loose on the Xmen. I hope I’m proved wrong and that he does a good job, but I’m not holding my breath. So, with that, ninjas will fade from the world, and I for one shall be very sad about that.

You can get your own rather fetching Turtles T-Shirt by heading over to Truffleshuffle.com. It costs £25.99 (and some p&p), the sizes currently available are L-XXL and it comes in white. Perfect to celebrate the legend that is the ninja, and mourn his tragic loss. Cowabunga dudes.

 

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