Valentine’s T-Shirt – May you be allergic to roses.

February 14, 2013 § Leave a comment

Valentine's Tee

Again, no card. No nothing.

Well, the dreaded day has arrived again. Another year of loneliness. Another year without love or even intimate companionship. I know I already looked at an Anti-Valentine’s tee, but here’s my Valentine’s T-Shirt.

I’m not a naturally bitter person. Ok, I am a little bit, but if there’s a day that makes me akin to strong dark chocolate, dipped in black coffee, it’s Valentine’s Day. If you got a card, maybe a flower or a gift, then congrats. Well done. You’re obviously a person deserving of love. Apparently, I failed that test a long time ago and so I am one of those who never got anything. I’m now sitting in the dark, listening to the The J. Gelis Band’s Love Stinks and Rammstein’s Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da and brooding over the apparent wrong turn I took. Fat, ugly and hairy aside, I know I’m not exactly a catch, but I didn’t think I was so repulsive that in the 29 years I have existed on this planet, I wouldn’t be worthy of a single Valentine’s card that didn’t come from my mother when I was a kid, or as a token of sympathy. Actually, my two year old God-daughter gave me a card a couple of years ago. Not exactly romantic though, is it. Anyway, to all you happy couples out there, I just hope that the champagne is flat, the chocolates poisoned and that your candle lit dinner means that your electricity has been cut off. Bitter? Hell yes. Confused and annoyed? Indeed. Angry at the world and everyone in it who has happiness and love? You better believe it. Looking forward to tomorrow when this dreadful occasion is a whole year away? Yeppers.

Get your own Valentine’s Tee at It costs $29.10, comes in loads of colours, styles and sizes. Join me in some bitterness, darkness and tragedy. It’s not as fun as it sounds, but it gets shit done.



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