May 21, 2013 § Leave a comment
If there is one symbol of culinary Scotland that stands above all others, it is the mighty Haggis. A delicious dish, but a divisive one too due to its ingredients. Well, the only ingredient of this Haggis T-Shirt is 100% organic cotton so you should be able to stomach that.
When I was but a wee slip o’ a lad, I used to love Haggis. Being half Scottish, much time was spent in the lowlands on holiday and of course, Haggis, tatties and neeps were considered a simple but delicious treat. Then my Dad told me what a Haggis was made of and I didn’t eat it again for a decade or so. Yes, when you really get into the list of ingredients, it does read as something quite disgusting. But I let the thought of what I was eating obscure the flavours – if we all did that, there wouldn’t be a fast food outlet left in the world (hmmm…). When you think about munching on lung and stomach, it’s pretty off-putting, but the flavour is delicious. Offal, barley, salt and some spices all come together in a filling dish with a unique and honestly delicious flavour. If you’ve been put off in the past because of the ingredients, I urge you to get over it and have a bite – it’s a hearty dish, full of subtle flavours and a real delicacy. Serve with mashed potatoes and turnips for the authentic meal. If you’re in the UK (even south of the boarder) you’ll probably be able to find a MacSween haggis in the chilled meats cabinet of your local supermarket (and there’s a very tasty veggie option too). In the US it’s a bit harder – there’s a law against eating lungs in America for some reason – but there are pretty close alternatives. I’m sure, if you try hard (and it is worth it) you can get hold of a haggis wherever you are in the world. And if you’re really keen, you can hunt one for yourself. 😉
This delightful Scottish T-Shirt is brought to you by pre-eminent Scottish pop-culture celebrator and designer Gillian Kyle and I discovered this on notonthehighstreet.com. It comes in purple (with a whitish print), costs £22 and is available in sizes ranging from small to XL. Bon Appetit!
May 1, 2013 § Leave a comment
Dinosaurs and puns are two of my favourite subjects, and this Banana-Saurus Rex T-Shirt combines both. The only problem is adding the fruit and vegetables, which are two of my least favourite things. Blurgh.
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Fascinated to the point of being a bit of an expert and decidedly destined to grow into a palaeontologist. Somehow, along the way, that dream died, or at least was replaced with various other dreams as I hit my teens – none of which are probably appropriate for this blog. Then, when I grew older, I invented this fun game. When you’re walking down a road or in the country, just imagine, at any given point in your strolling or meandering, that you are suddenly confronted by a T-Rex, say 50 metres/yards in front of you. What would you do? Should you stand still, hope it goes for someone else, run, or hide? Can you scramble up that bank, break into that house, dive down that path or alleyway? What is your best option for survival? And when you’re done with that, you can then try it with something like a lion or tiger or whatever (presents slightly different challenges). Trust me, I know it sounds silly, but it’s oddly addictive and it can really break up long walks. So, that’s the dino aspect of this tee covered – now for the fruit. I distrust fruit. And vegetables. There’s something sinister about them. Ok, people claim they’re all about distributing seeds, but I’m not buying it. I think it’s a secret plot by the plants to overthrow us somehow. I haven’t worked out the exact details yet, but if I don’t, there’s a chance we’ll realise only too late how evil they are…
Anyway, this splendid Dinosaur T-Shirt was found on Uncovet.com where it costs $25.00. It is available in brown, and sizes range from small to XXL, so whether you’re a raptor or a rex, you’ll be able to get the right size. As for all the punning, long may it continue. Pun on, gentlepeople, pun on.
February 13, 2013 § Leave a comment
Lent has arrived. After a night of stuffing myself with pancakes, I now feel the need to sacrifice something. So, like a fool – a crazy, sexy fool – I’m giving up tea AND biscuits. Am I mad? Probably. So, to celebrate/commiserate, here is a Tea T-shirt.
As a British person, tea is, quite rightly, a big part of my life. From high tea in bone china to a bag in a mug, I drink rather a lot of the stuff. It is often accompanied by biscuits in some form or another. From bourbon creams to garibaldis, from chocolate digestives to vanilla wafers, I’ll munch them all. And it is because they are common factors in my daily existence that I am giving them up for a few weeks. There’s no point in giving up something alien. That’s not a challenge. I could easily give up taunting armadillos, or teaching economics to daffodils, but I’ll gain nothing from it. Those activities combined take up no more than 20 minutes of my week. Tea and biscuits take up much more. Also, what with this technically being a religious thing, and me being raised C of E, tea and biscuits came naturally to mind. To make up for these things being missing in my diet, I shall be drinking more coffee than is medically safe. Hopefully I’ll drink enough that I’ll be able to see through time and, more miraculously, develop a metabolism. That’d be nice. Anyway, wish me luck, and keep the pot warm for my return at Easter.
You can get this Tea-Shirt (see what I did there?) for yourself at spreadshirt.co.uk where it will cost you £20.80. It comes in a multitude of colours, styles and sizes so you’ll find the fit for you. So sit back and enjoy a cuppa, dunk a rich tea biscuit, and think of me hopped up on coffee.
January 16, 2013 § Leave a comment
Ah, the humble potato. Long have I been an ardent fan of this marvellous vegetable. So I have been searching the internet for this Potato T-Shirt – a fair monument to the saviour of mankind’s meal times that is the simple spud.
I had a jacket potato for lunch today. That made me think about just how much we owe to this type of veg. It’s not a looker, is it? Never could this lumpy, brown little mud-dweller compete withe the majesty of an artichoke or an aubergine, but its wonder lies in its versatility and flavour. Some people say that potatoes are flavourless, but to those of us with a more delicate palate, its subtle taste is heaven. And that versatility! Chips, crisps, fries, roasties, new, baby new, jackets, mash, dauphinoise, sauté… the list goes on. I’ve even sampled a potato-based pizza! The wonders never cease. We can therefore forgive its homely looks, and instead praise it for what’s on the inside, and what it has the ability to become. If only people would do the same with me, I’d be the happiest man on the planet. Then, just when you don’t think the potato could possibly get any better, the chimps at 2smartmonkeys.com add a pun to the mix. Well that’s just glorious. A potato wedgie. That’s the sort of cleverness that civilisations are built on.
So, head over to 2smartmonkeys.com and grab your own. It will cost you £17.00, comes in black and two shades of grey, and it comes in the standard array of sizes. Give praise to the potato – if any food stuff has earned your admiration, surely it must be the spud.
December 12, 2012 § Leave a comment
Breakfast. Meal of early risers and lie-in-ers alike, the most important meal of the day and essential to my life. But where do they do the best brekkies? Scotland. Fact. To prove it, here’s a Glasgow Breakfast T-Shirt.
Now, I know that previous statement could be seen as relative by the intelligent, or insulting by the stupid, but it is, in fact, a fact. Maybe not so much the whisky at the back of the above ensemble (well, on special occasions a wee dram with the porridge is allowed). The rest of it though has me drooling and longing for a visit to a greasy spoon north of the border. It reminds me of going walking actually. Not in Glasgow, but in the lowlands of Dumfries and Galloway. Setting off early with a few rounds of Scottish plain bread, toasted with Marmite. A can or two of Irn Bru on the go, and some fresh Scotch pies in the back-pack for elevenses. Delicious. With a fry up, I always like a bit of Haggis and maybe some Lorne Sausage, fried along with black pudding, beans, eggy bread and mushrooms. Oh, and of course some bacon. Oh look, my keyboard is water-logged with my own dribble and my feverish mind is remembering some of the most delicious, heart-warming and, unfortunately, heart-stopping breakfast foods in the world.
As I place a bucket under my tongue to catch the cascading slobber caused by the idea of a Scottish Breakfast T-Shirt, I should tell you that this was designed by Gillian Kyle – the Queen of putting Scottish food stuffs onto stuff – and I found it on notonthehighstreet.com. It costs £22.00, comes in grey and sizes go from small to XL. Also, if you drink Irn Bru with a hangover and you throw up, it’s the most awesome colour ever. You needed to know that.
November 29, 2012 § Leave a comment
I’ve admired this tee for a long time now, and for some reason, I never put it onto this blog. Now’s the time to set that straight. here, for your pleasure, is the Take The Pith T-Shirt. Enjoy.
Now, I could just take this opportunity to come up with a vast array of fruit-based puns and, in part, I shall. However, I shall also wax lyrical about the excellent design qualities of this tee. Add a cute illustration to a clever pun and stick it onto a t-shirt, I’m going to enjoy it, and this is one of the best I’ve seen. It’s brought to you by Sparrow Legs, a student (although the bio was created some time ago so let’s hope they got a job) who appears to have only designed a single tee. Well, if you’re going to do one, make it a good one, though with talent like this we must hope for more of these designs in the future. Now, back to the punning. Though one could talk at length about what’s so a-peeling about this shirt, the idea is pipped to the post by the idea of some ripe punning. Citric to making good puns… actually, that’ll do. I’m starting to give myself a headache. Kumquat may, this is a good t-shirt, and… *dies of over-punning*
So, get this Orange T-shirt (which technically isn’t an orange t-shirt – it’s green, but then you do get green oranges…) by heading over to spunky.co.uk. It’s only available in sizes small and XL at the moment, but it’s reduced slightly to £22.49 at the time of writing, so grab it quick to save. I’m now off to have punning therapy. I obviously have a problem.
July 30, 2012 § Leave a comment
This Spam T-Shirt looks great, but to me, it’s here to represent the end of the month. If you’re anything like me, until payday swings around, cutting expenses is the key, and Spam helps a lot.
Spam gets a bad rap. Associated with junk email and the butt of many a joke since the days of Monty Python (and possibly before – if anything existed before Monty Python) and so therefore, it’s only right that it gets a bit of kudos here. The name comes from an amalgamation of “Spiced” and “Ham”, and it has been helping to feed families for about 75 years. It’s cheap, but of a decent quality, and in a month where I’m probably going to be switching to roll-ups and enjoying a lot more tasty water, I can see myself enjoying a few more spam dinners. I recommend frying it on a griddle with some onions and spices, but it’s a highly versatile meat so enjoy it as you will. This t-shirt homage to Spam has been brought to you by Gillian Kyle, a Scottish designer who usually turns iconic Scottish brands into tees (and mugs, aprons, etc). This time however she’s given the treatment to Spam, and it looks great – especially in this colour-scheme. It’s light-hearted and eye-catching – just like Spam!
You too can celebrate Spam by heading to notonthehighstreet.com where this tee will cost you £12.60 (it’s in their sale for a limited time – usually goes for £18!). This is the only colour available and it comes in sizes small and medium. Now I just have to hope that this post doesn’t get flagged as spam…