Biohazard T-Shirt – Getting reborn

March 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

reborn in defiance t-shirt

‘My sun sets to rise again’ – Robert Browning

The man who once told you about t-shirts is dead. I am the new version. 2.0. Except I’ve done this so many times it’s more like version 11.3, but that’s not the point. This Biohazard T-Shirt, created for a very a band that I used to like a lot, is a good metaphor. Here’s what’s happening.

You know what I had for lunch today? Fruit, yoghurt and low fat cheese. Know what I’m about to do in a moment? Go for a run. And then I’m going to lift weights. Yeah. Why this intense activity and apparently healthier living? Well, it’s the only way I’m going to change the body-of-a-God-shame-it’s-Buddha that I’ve got. And that joke has always annoyed me because Siddhartha Gautama was not a God, but an enlightened human and there is no evidence that he was in any way chunky. Anyway, I need to make changes. Drastic, immediate and tough changes that will turn me back into the muscle-bound hulk that I was a few years back. And I’m determined to do it this time round. Even though these actions could be biologically hazardous (hence the relevance of the symbol), I’m willing to take that risk to reconstruct the truly God-like frame that I once had. Bring it on. I’m going to get healthy (and still smoke and have the occasional drink) or die trying. This tee is also apt because it has ‘Reborn in defiance’ written on it, due to the fact that it celebrates an album of that name by the hardcore band Biohazard. I’m going to need some of their aggression and power as I start running again. I am defying my natural state of fat and lazy, and replacing it with healthy and proactive. My goal? To go from XL to L t-shirts before the summer. And to look a bit like a superhero too. Bring it on.

This Reborn In Defiance T-Shirt comes to you from the good folks at Thisispulp.co.uk where it will cost you just £13.99. It comes in orange and is currently only available in small. Which is a bit of a shame as I doubt I’ll ever fit into a small, but it’s a great looking shirt nevertheless. Onwards, to glory.

 

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Slayer T-Shirt – My blood sucks.

March 11, 2013 § Leave a comment

Reign In Blood T-Shirt

From the lacerated skies.

I had a blood test today, and I wanted to find a tee that had something to do with that because, well, why not. While searching for ‘blood t-shirts’ (as you do), I came across this Slayer T-Shirt and that reminded me of a great album, and I forgot the blood test. Which was nice.

I may have mentioned this before on this blog, but I’ll reiterate for you now: my blood does not flow, but instead it oozes and seeps. It’s sluggish and thick, very dark and sticky. This is of little consequence from day-to-day, but when I have to take a blood test (about three/four times a year) it makes things difficult. The record is being stuck four times with a needle and nothing coming out. That was not my best day ever. But today, we had a little breakthrough – a hot poultice was wrapped around my fist, and the nurse drew blood from the back of my hand. It flowed so easily and quickly, and no bruising like you get in the elbow. So, if you’re like me, get them to take it out of your hand – a time and pain-saver if ever there was one. I saw this tee and actually thought, I wish I was raining blood. The song, Raining Blood, is awesome and moody and thrashy in the way that only Slayer can do, but rather than get stabbed by needles, it would be nice if I had some sort of sprinkler system that I could turn on and the nurses could just catch the blood in beakers. Would make my life so much easier, and it would make dressing for Halloween a real no-brainer. Also, I’m currently listening to Reign In Blood and I’d forgotten how good an album it is. There you go: a tenuous link between a good album and what I did today – that’s why t-shirts are awesome.

So, become an Angel of Death yourself by draping yourself in this Reign In Blood T-Shirt. It comes from Sugarbullets.co.uk where it costs £19.99, comes in S, M and XL and of course, it’s black. I don’t think you can get a Slayer tee that isn’t black. And that’s how it should be.

Meat Loaf T-Shirt – Like a Tee out of Hell

February 25, 2013 § Leave a comment

meat loaf tee

Classic rock and pie charts combined. Awesome.

Every now and again, my musical tastes revert to Meat Loaf. It’s like my default music for some reason. And that’s kind of happening now. So, in celebration of this, I have found this brilliant Meat Loaf T-Shirt. It’s like the only time maths has been cool.

My musical tastes run in phases, and I always start each phase with Meat Loaf. I’m not sure why. I have several days of music on my iPod, with genres ranging from Metal to Rap, from Blues to Trance, with a few lashings of Folk, Punk, Classical and plenty of Rock in between. But despite this, I get bored. I feel like I’ve listened to everything. That’s when I go back to The Loaf. I also look like him a bit (yes, ladies, it’s true). Usually, after a few renditions of Bat Out Of Hell or I’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth), I create a new playlist and move on. Then, in several months’ time, I’ll have to reset again, and I’ll be listing to Hot Patootie again. It’s like a musical comfort blanket, I guess. You can rock out, dance to it a bit and it’s great sing-along music too. And now, you can have the fun of applying mathematics to it as well. As well as the above pie chart, there’s “2/3 ≥ satisfactory” and “∞<old”. I’m working on others too (turns out I need to spend a bit more time with my algebra books before I start trying this stuff – but I’m sure there are plenty there). Anyway, I shall start a new musical phase soon as I’m currently enjoying Mr Marvin Adey (yep, that’s his real name) at his romantic, OTT best.

Grab your own Meaty tee at Chargrilled.co.uk. It’ll cost you £17.95, there are loads of colours and sizes go up to XXXL in this men’s style (there are hoodies and women’s fit as well). Now go pull on a frilly shirt and waistcoat combo, get some red roses, and get your oversized romantic on.

 

Heavy Metal T-Shirt – I really do like it.

February 8, 2013 § Leave a comment

Metal T-Shirt

“Why would heavy metal ever go away?” – Scott Ian (Anthrax)

My music collection has grown to be somewhat eclectic over the years, but the one constant that always remains, that will always be there, is Heavy Metal. I think it’s time to salute the genre itself with a Heavy Metal T-Shirt. Rock on.

I’ve come a long way from my days as a bit of a goth. Ok, so the hair’s still long, but that’s more to do with me looking stupid with short hair than my commitments to music. In the last decade I have found myself branching out more and diversifying the music in my collection. On my iPod, you’ll now find everything from Beethoven to Muddy Waters, from Depeche Mode to the Wu Tang Clan. I enjoy it all, but despite this growth, I always regress to heavy metal. It’s who I am. I was forged in the fires of Iron Maiden and Metallica, developed with the driving sounds of Rammstein and Fear Factory, thrashed out to Slayer and Sepultura and I even suffered willingly through Nu Metal with Korn and Limp Bizkit. To quote Lemmy, one of the undoubted Gods of Heavy Metal, “I got Rock n Roll. It satisfies my soul.” and it really does. I still get chills when I hear a great riff, even when I’ve heard it so many times before. I still get the urge to grab my bass whenever I hear a great song and rock out with myself, pretending I’m playing a stadium show with one of the monsters of rock. It still gets me. I always wanted to be a rock star and though that looks like it’s not going to happen anymore, I still wish it would. Heavy metal is the music of imaginative people with true depth of character and strong personalities. If you like your metal, I salute you.

I think this is a great shirt. It’s humorous, honest and, frankly, it rocks. You can get this Metal T-Shirt by heading over to Redmolotov.com. It comes in loads of colours and sizes and the price of this Men’s Tee is £14.99. So, weather you like Hair Metal, Black Metal, Death Metal, Hard Rock, Grunge, Thrash or Classic, spend a bit of time rocking out and enjoy the finest type of music.

 

Ipod T-Shirt – Simple pleasures and annoying pains.

January 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

Ipod T-Shirt

It’s funny because it’s true. Sort of.

I am an Apple fan boy. I have been for years. And one of the main reasons for this was the Ipod. I had one of the old white generation II ones and it was brilliant. I’ve had two Nanos and they’ve both been super. For Christmas this year, I got one of the big, chunky Ipod Classic models because I need more space for music. But despite finding this charming Ipod T-Shirt, I have one issue with the almighty Apple.

For a couple of years, I’ve been using these really cool headphones. Not expensive or ridiculous ones. They were about £20 two years ago and they’re Star Wars themed (what else?), but they just started to die before Christmas. One ear had gone all crackly and worked only sporadically when on the move. With the new Ipod’s arrival, I decided to give the Apple ear-buds (when did we stop saying “earphones”?) a go. I regret this. They’re awful. My old, slightly broken headphones are actually better. They crackle constantly, the range is so limited that I miss half of any given song and they have the same sporadic right-ear playback that my old headphones took two years to develop. What’s more, they’re really uncomfortable! It’s like having two Galaxy Minstrels stuck in your ears! I love, appreciate or admire pretty much every apple product and I own quite a few now, but the ear-buds are just abominable. Ok, so they’re made by impoverished children in China, but so was the Iphone and Ipad and they work really well, so it’s not a case of you get what you pay for. Apple, seriously, sort this first world problem out. Why create beautiful, brilliant electronics and spoil them with sub-par peripherals?

This t-shirt though is very charming, and comes from raveready.com. It’ll set you back no more than $21.99, it comes in four colours, and sizes range from XS to XL. And just to keep you updated, not only have I ordered the t-shirt, but I have also ordered some funky new headphones. They can’t arrive soon enough.

 

Bob Dylan T-Shirt – My album of 2012

January 1, 2013 § Leave a comment

Bob Dylan T-Shirt

“I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours” – Bob Dylan

It’s a little bit disappointing that my album of the year is an album of Bob Dylan songs, considering he started out in the 1960s. But, if you’ve heard the Chimes of Freedom album for Amnesty International that was released in January 2012, you’ll understand. It’s a phenomenal album which not only showcases current talent in its best light, but also highlights the wonders of arguably the best songwriter of the 20th century. Therefore, a Bob Dylan T-Shirt is needed.

Simply, here is a run down of my favourite 10 tracks from this enormous album. In no particular order…

1. Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door – An exceptionally moving song, full of heartfelt words and musical brilliance. Short and sweet, this is one of the greatest laments ever written. Performed on this album by RedOne Feat. Nabil Khayat.

2.It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue – One of those purely honest Dylan songs. It’s all about the end, and an honesty in breaking-up that is seldom heard. Performed on this album by Bad Religion who give it a subtly punked-up feel.

3. Buckets Of Rain – A seminal love-song that makes other pale in its wake. Performed on this album by Fistful of Mercy – and what’s better than hearing a Dylan song performed by George Harrison’s son. Magical.

4. Subterranean Homesick Blues – A poem for the 20th century about youth, growing up and life’s many intricacies. It was always a fun song, but on this album it’s performed by Michael Franti who lends his beautiful voice to the majesty of this sensationally written number.

5. Desolation Row – One that really rings with the current political situations in the west. You can really hear the restless riot squads in this song, performed by My Chemical Romance who give a sloppy rock feel to this resonating anthem.

6. Outlaw Blues – If any song makes you feel different, empowered and original, it’s the Outlaw Blues. The Queens of The Stone Age give this track their typical masterful treatment, making it firmly affirmative and boisterous. A great recording.

7. Quinn The Eskimo – Need a hero for the modern age? Quinn the Eskimo is just that, and this wonderful acoustic version performed by Kris Kristofferson is a powerful ballad worthy of a listen.

8. Ballad Of Hollis Brown  – Another song for the 21st century. Hollis Brown is a poverty-stricken man in search of some sort of help. Sound familiar? This song is given aggression, frustration and added feeling by Rise Against.

9. You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere – A beautifully playful song, full of love and happiness. Performed on this album by Brett Dennen, it’s almost impossible not to sing/sway along with this magical track.

10. This Wheel’s On Fire – Another wonderful love song. performed on this album by Charlie Winston whose stunning voice brings more romance and passion to this number.

So there you go. A great album. Bearing in mind, I’ve picked just 10 of over 70 songs from this four disc set. What’s more, if you decide to pick it up, the proceeds go to Amnesty International, so you’ll be doing good and getting something brilliant out of it at the same time. I urge you to pick it up.

As for the t-shirt, this one comes from tribal-tshirts.com where it costs £11.99. It comes in many colours sizes from Small to XXXL. If you’ve got an album of 2012, let me know. Just leave a comment below!

 

 

Music Tree T-Shirt – A sound garment.

November 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

Music T-Shirt

“You are the music while the music lasts” – T.S. Eliot

The week is over, and the weekend is just beginning. This is a time for celebration, and this means a bit of music. Therefore, I have found the Music Tree T-Shirt – And now for something a little different…

Rather than just waffle on like I always do, I thought I’d give you a run-down of the first ten songs that appear on my iPod. I’ll do no shuffling or skipping – it’ll just be the first ten. Here goes.

  • Nothing But A Good Time – Reel Big Fish – a Ska-punk cover of the Poison classic. Foot -tapping rating: 8/10.
  • Summerholidays Vs. Punkroutine – Refused – Nice, bass-driven heavy punk with tortured vocals and a somewhat funky rhythm. Head-nodding rating: 7/10
  • You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere – Brett Dennen – A beautiful cover of the Dylan classic. Head-swaying rating: 7/10
  • Auto Pilot – Queens of the Stone Age – A mellow, almost “lazilly drugged” turn from a brilliant band. Desire-to-take-narcotics rating: 8/10
  • Rain – The Cult – Great rock n’ roll. Solid bass, wailing guitars and great vocals and lyrics. Sing-in-the-shower rating: 8/10
  • Electric Worry – Clutch – Down South blues rock with a rusted, jagged edge. Desire-to-neck-a-bottle-of-bourbon rating: 7/10
  • Last Leaf – OK Go – Moving and very sweet acoustic number with rich, rustic sound-engineering. Want-to-cry rating: 8/10
  • Swagger Of Thieves – HLAH – Boisterous, swaggering return from one of the best bands to ever come out of NZ. Desk-head-banging rating: 9/10
  • Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright – Bob Dylan – One of the most honest and human sentiments ever expressed in music. Knowing-nod rating: 9/10
  • Rock Box – Run DMC – Rap royalty combining super-clever lyricism and glam metal aesthetics perfectly. Desire-to-wear-an-adidas-tracksuit rating: 9/10

So that’s what I listened to while I wrote this post. And this Music Tee was the perfect visual accompaniment. It’s excellently designed, playful and original. It was created by Auraclover whose entire range is something to be admired. You can find this tee on spreadshirt.com where it costs $22.20, comes in lots of colours and sizes from S-XXL. And boy, am I relieved that none of my truly embarrassing musical tastes cropped up in that selection!

 

Bear T-Shirt – A DJ that can really scratch. And bite.

October 18, 2012 § 1 Comment

bear tee

Bear Musicians: Thin Grizzly, Koala Shaka, Polar Abdul…

Who doesn’t like bears? Next to apes/monkeys, they’re my favourites and this Bear T-Shirt is a great example of the fun you can have with these cuddly killing machines.

Going by the name Record Bearer (get it?) this tee comes to you from the indy shirt store concreterocket.com. All the t-shirts are limited edition so the designs don’t hang around for too long, but this means that you can be sure that your threads will be unique and unusual. I was particularly fond of this particular design for two reasons. First off, it’s a wonderful illustration, expertly drawn and applied to the tee, and also because it made me think of bears listening to music and this allows my brain to ramble off into a strange and wonderful world where nothing makes sense. I pondered for some time about what sort of music bears would listen to. Eventually, I settled on Grunge. Shaggy and unkempt, spending a lot of time asleep and catching salmon with their bare (or should that be ‘bear’) hands are just a few of the things that grungers and grizzlies have in common. Kurt Cobain was often seen stealing pic-a-nik baskets. True story.

This is the ladies’ version of this t-shirt (there’s a man’s version too) but there’s just one of each left in stock at the time of writing so chop, chop. It’ll cost you £16.72 or $26.60 depending on wherever you are and it’s only available in this rather fine blue. Right, I have to go knit red jumpers and yellow scarfs for Soundgarden or they’ll eat me alive, the rascals.

 

Iconic T-Shirts – Motorhead T-Shirt

August 16, 2012 § Leave a comment

heavy metal t-shirt

“If you think you are too old to rock ‘n roll, then you are.” – Lemmy

 

The Motorhead T-shirt has grown into an iconic piece of clothing, and it has come to symbolise the violent, brash and vicious nature of Heavy Metal. Which is kind of odd because Lemmy always seems like such a nice chap.

Long ago, in an age where musicians didn’t really have to care about looks as long as they could play their instruments, this guy called Lemmy turned up in the psychedelic rock band, Hawkwind. The other guys in Hawkwind were all heavily into taking acid – a drug that slows you down, mellows you out and makes you see pink flowers growing out of your fingertips. Lemmy, despite having been Jimi Hendrix’s acid supplier, was more into speed – a drug that makes your blood and mind race like Bolt and Blake in the 100 metres final. Lemmy didn’t last long in Hawkwind, and soon departed to form Motorhead. The name was a reference to the nickname given to anyone who took speed habitually, and thirty odd (very odd) years later, Motorhead are still going and they are still the loudest band on the planet. Trust me, I went to see them last year at the Brixton Academy and I couldn’t hear anything for a couple of days after.

But the band needed a symbol. Hawkwind had been all about tie-dye and beads, but that wasn’t exactly a heavy metal image. Luckily, Joe Petagno was on hand to create the fanged, horned, tusked face that has seen hundreds of variations since its beginnings in 1977 when it appeared on the band’s self-titled debut album. It’s known as War-Pig (or Snaggletooth) and has featured on nearly all of Motorhead’s album covers since its creation. It gave the band a look. A mean look. And, due to its now iconic status, it will survive, like Lemmy himself, for a long time and against all odds.

This particular version comes from the official Motorhead store where it costs $19.99, comes only in black, and in sizes L-XXXL (most Moterhead fans tend to be a little larger). It is Metal personified, instantly recognisable, and as wonderfully ugly as it was in 1977.

Iconic T-Shirts – The Ramones T-Shirt

August 10, 2012 § Leave a comment

ramones logo t-shirt

Sheena is a punk rocker. And she wears this t-shirt.

The Ramones T-Shirt is now something that we see every day, and many variations have been created on the theme. But the fact that a t-shirt created by one of the most unlikely bands in history could become as mainstream as it has today, makes this an Iconic T-Shirt.

If you were hanging out in CBGB’s, a grimy little club in Queens, New York in the mid-late 1970s, you’d have seen a few bands and musicians play there that are today household names. There was Blondie, Patti Smith and, later on, The Police. Then there were these guys. They couldn’t play their instruments, they looked like they were from the local gang, the singer’s voice was as ridiculous as it was unusual, and they were playing something that would eventually be called punk rock. Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee and Tommy Ramone, sporting bad hair, leather jackets and ripped jeans became one of the most important (and undervalued) bands of the 20th century. When they played the Roundhouse in London in ’76, members of the Sex Pistols, the Clash and others were in the crowd. These guys made punk rock.

The band’s logo which features on this t-shirt was designed by Arturo Vega, an artist from New York who lived with Joey and Dee Dee. He also started printing the t-shirts. It takes the seal of the President of the United States and gives the bald eagle a baseball bat. It’s subversive, striking and instantly recognisable. And it contains the great mantra of the Ramones – Hey ho, let’s go. It’s the perfect symbol, not just for the band, but also for an Iconic T-Shirt that is easily more recognisable to a lot of people today than the band’s music (and as a fan of the band’s music, that’s a little sad, but I get it).

If you want one, you can find them all over the place. If you want to see a selection of designs though, I recommend checking out ramonesworld.com which is still run by Arturo Vega. There’s lots of choice, so have fun.

 

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