Haggis T-Shirt – McYummy.

‘Great chieftain o’ the puddin-race!’ – Robert Burns

If there is one symbol of culinary Scotland that stands above all others, it is the mighty Haggis. A delicious dish, but a divisive one too due to its ingredients. Well, the only ingredient of this Haggis T-Shirt is 100% organic cotton so you should be able to stomach that.

When I was but a wee slip o’ a lad, I used to love Haggis. Being half Scottish, much time was spent in the lowlands on holiday and of course, Haggis, tatties and neeps were considered a simple but delicious treat. Then my Dad told me what a Haggis was made of and I didn’t eat it again for a decade or so. Yes, when you really get into the list of ingredients, it does read as something quite disgusting. But I let the thought of what I was eating obscure the flavours – if we all did that, there wouldn’t be a fast food outlet left in the world (hmmm…). When you think about munching on lung and stomach, it’s pretty off-putting, but the flavour is delicious. Offal, barley, salt and some spices all come together in a filling dish with a unique and honestly delicious flavour. If you’ve been put off in the past because of the ingredients, I urge you to get over it and have a bite – it’s a hearty dish, full of subtle flavours and a real delicacy. Serve with mashed potatoes and turnips for the authentic meal. If you’re in the UK (even south of the boarder) you’ll probably be able to find a MacSween haggis in the chilled meats cabinet of your local supermarket (and there’s a very tasty veggie option too). In the US it’s a bit harder – there’s a law against eating lungs in America for some reason – but there are pretty close alternatives. I’m sure, if you try hard (and it is worth it) you can get hold of a haggis wherever you are in the world. And if you’re really keen, you can hunt one for yourself. 😉

This delightful Scottish T-Shirt is brought to you by pre-eminent Scottish pop-culture celebrator and designer Gillian Kyle and I discovered this on notonthehighstreet.com. It comes in purple (with a whitish print), costs £22 and is available in sizes ranging from small to XL. Bon Appetit!

 

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Cookie Monster T-Shirt – Cookies!

More blue than ever before.

The Cookie Monster, though one of my favourite members of the Sesame Street gang, this big, blue fuzzball ended my childhood. So this Cookie Monster T-Shirt provokes mixed emotions with me. Sit down and I shall tell you a tale…

I don’t remember how old I was exactly, or where I was, but I remember the feeling. The world, like so many crumbs and chocolate chips, crumbled around me. I was watching Sesame Street – never a favourite but entertaining enough. Cookie Monster was the best as he was that predictable sort of clown who, regardless of the fact that you know what’s going to happen, always made you laugh. The gag was always that he’d scoff loads of cookies. Simple jokes are always the most effective. But on that day, I remember watching him and it stopped being funny. His paws/hands gathered in the cookies and he opened his cavernous mouth wide and began to chomp and chomp and chomp.  Then I noticed it. He wasn’t swallowing. A cascade of devastated biscuit fountained from his fast-moving maw, but none of it went down his throat. Because there was no throat. THERE WAS NO THROAT!! If he couldn’t really eat, why the hell would he want cookies all the time!? It made no sense, and, in that moment, I grew up. There probably wasn’t a real Castle Grayskull, Matt Tracker wasn’t flying around in a car wearing a mask, and I doubted Jace had ever battled the Monster Mind. At that moment, I was no longer a child and could not see with the eyes of a child any longer. All because this guy couldn’t eat a damn cookie. After that, I have no problem with the idea of Cookie Monster hanging around seedy bars and groping dancers. Not that he could do anything. Well, if he hasn’t got a throat, I doubt he’s got a… never mind.

This Sesame Street T-Shirt is brought to you by Truffleshuffle.co.uk and was designed by Chunk. It comes in this Maroon/Purple colour and sizes range from XS to XXL (though at the time of writing, Small was out of stock). It’ll cost you £27.99. What did Cookie Monster cost me? My childhood. Thank God he didn’t turn me off cookies.

 

Don’t Just Stand There T-Shirt – Get busy!

Hurry up and do some stuff!

This is the time of year to be proactive. I know it’s tempting to slack off at Christmas, but all you’ll do is make your january hectic and unpleasant. With that in mind, take some advice from this Don’t Just Stand There T-Shirt and stop procrastinating.

Staring out the window? Spending a little bit too much time on twitter, facebook and pinterest? Counting down the minutes? Yes, Christmas is on its way, but there’s still work to be done. If you’re like me, you sigh as you open the box every day on your second advent calendar (again, if you’re anything like me, you got desperate somewhere around the 3rd and devoured all of the chocolates in your first advent calendar in a guilt-inducing cocoa orgy). It seems so close, and yet, it’s still a week away. And, if you’re lucky, you’ll have a whole week to sleep, eat turkey sandwiches and drink yourself into a yuletide stupor. But you’ve got to keep going. Keep pushing through. It’ll be here sooner than you think. Just don’t slack off yet, because you don’t want to let the work all build up. The worst thing is coming back in early january, nursing your NYE hangover and finding all of the work you wish you’d got done in December when you weren’t really doing much anyway. Don’t be a fool – don’t just stand there – do all you can do now.

As well as conveying an important message, I really like the look of this t-shirt. It’s a great colour and the typography is high quality. I discovered it on ugmonk.com where it costs $26.00. It comes in purple and there are plenty of sizes available in both men’s and women’s fits. So hop to it!