Meat Loaf T-Shirt – Like a Tee out of Hell

Classic rock and pie charts combined. Awesome.

Every now and again, my musical tastes revert to Meat Loaf. It’s like my default music for some reason. And that’s kind of happening now. So, in celebration of this, I have found this brilliant Meat Loaf T-Shirt. It’s like the only time maths has been cool.

My musical tastes run in phases, and I always start each phase with Meat Loaf. I’m not sure why. I have several days of music on my iPod, with genres ranging from Metal to Rap, from Blues to Trance, with a few lashings of Folk, Punk, Classical and plenty of Rock in between. But despite this, I get bored. I feel like I’ve listened to everything. That’s when I go back to The Loaf. I also look like him a bit (yes, ladies, it’s true). Usually, after a few renditions of Bat Out Of Hell or I’d Lie For You (And That’s The Truth), I create a new playlist and move on. Then, in several months’ time, I’ll have to reset again, and I’ll be listing to Hot Patootie again. It’s like a musical comfort blanket, I guess. You can rock out, dance to it a bit and it’s great sing-along music too. And now, you can have the fun of applying mathematics to it as well. As well as the above pie chart, there’s “2/3 ≥ satisfactory” and “∞<old”. I’m working on others too (turns out I need to spend a bit more time with my algebra books before I start trying this stuff – but I’m sure there are plenty there). Anyway, I shall start a new musical phase soon as I’m currently enjoying Mr Marvin Adey (yep, that’s his real name) at his romantic, OTT best.

Grab your own Meaty tee at Chargrilled.co.uk. It’ll cost you £17.95, there are loads of colours and sizes go up to XXXL in this men’s style (there are hoodies and women’s fit as well). Now go pull on a frilly shirt and waistcoat combo, get some red roses, and get your oversized romantic on.

 

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Comic Book T-Shirt – Make some noises!

Boom.

Comic books have always had a problem with conveying sound other than speech. Or they would have done if not for the boundless imagination of their writers. This Comic Book T-Shirt celebrates the wealth of noises that have been written in these pages. Whap!

Remember when Batman was fun? I do. It wasn’t all about darkness and speaking in a ridiculous gravelly voice. Nothing had to make sense. There was a guy, dressed like a bat (sort of), with a cool car, beating people up and saving precious emeralds and the like. In recent times, we’ve lost that, both on page and screen, but if you had the opportunity to enjoy ‘classic’ Batman, you enjoyed a real treat. Especially the TV show. Adam West and Burt Ward, running around in tights, acting really poorly (but in a very good way) and really over-camping the whole thing. Less Dark Knight, more Guy Who Likes To Wear Purple. In the shows, after they’d driven around for a bit and spoken to Commissioner Gordon a couple of times, they’d find Julie Newmar or Caesar Romero in a warehouse somewhere, typically with some “goons”, and then the real fun would start. With every punch or kick came a “Zork!” or a “Blam!”. Every now and again, you’d get a “Craaaack!”. It was really exciting. And fun! In the comic books too, even today, these wonderful invented sounds appear across many titles. And they all make sense. I know exactly what “Thwok!” sounds like. So I’m thrilled that someone has put this tee together – I think it looks awesome.

Suit up with your own Comic Book Noises T-Shirt by checking out spreadshirt.net. It comes in loads of colours, costs €27.90 and sizes range from Small to 3XL. Failing that, go put on tights, hang around warehouses and get into fights. I’ve heard it’s fun.

 

Organs T-Shirt – My insides used to look like this.

And the lung bone’s connected to the heart bone. The heart bone’s connected…

The Organs T-Shirt is great at showing us what we look like inside. Or what we used to look like in the 19th Century. Or what someone thought we looked like. But I think mine are a little different…

This is a great-looking tee that utilises an actual 19th Century illustration of human organs to accomplish a very pleasing design. But the more I study it, even if I ignore the charming inaccuracies accomplished in an age before x-rays, I would make some changes if I wanted it to be an actual representation of what I think my insides look like. They go as follows:

Lungs – They need to be darker. Like proper darker. Black in fact. Aside from a slightly-becoming-problematic smoking habit, living in London insures my lungs are readily coated in a layer of disgusting gunge.

Heart – Often broken, but with low cholesterol, it ought to look leaner and with the texture of cracked porcelain.

Pancreas – I know it’s different spelling and pronunciation, but I always think of St Pancras, so therefore, mine should look like a train station with a hotel on top.

Liver – Should be slumped on the floor, vomiting blood and crying. Y’know. Like the real one.

So, when they’ve made those changes, I’ll get one for myself, but if you’re happy with the current interpretation, you can pick one up at science-tee-heaven Babbletees.com. It’ll cost you just $18 and comes in this pale yellow colour. There’s a ladies’ fit version too, but this unisex one is available in sizes small to XXXL. Have a happy friday, and don’t destroy your insides too much this weekend. Leave that to us professionals…

 

One Big Bear T-Shirt – Growlingly good.

He’s right. That is one big bear.

It’s time for me to review a Bear T-Shirt. I looked at a bear-themed tee recently but apparently there are bear-fans out there who want more. Which is like being a monkey-fan (like what I am) but obviously not as good.

I have nothing against bears per se. It would be fairly ridiculous if I did. I rarely come into contact with bears and when I do, I feel rather intimidated. But, and it’s a big, scary, fur-covered but(t), they’re not monkeys or apes. Bears just don’t really interest me. However, I have some friends, who shall remain nameless, who are rather fond of bears, but I just don’t get what’s so good about them. Sure, bears have Yogi, Rupert, Paddington and Pooh, but if you’re a monkey/ape-fan you can easily better these with Curious George, Magilla Gorilla, Mighty Joe and The Librarian from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. It’s an easy victory for the primates, and yet there are still those out there that prefer bears. I don’t get it, but I decided to hunt down a really cool Bear Tee to satisfy those weirdos. And I found one. This shirt is brought to you by the talented Anthony Peters who has taken bright colours, fun designs and good humour to create very wearable stuff. I heartily recommend you take a look-see at his entire collection.

If you’re one of these bear-fans, you can grab one of these t-shirts from 2ktshirts.com. It’s $20.12, comes in a colour called “Lemon-zest” and sizes go from Small to XL. And if you’re one of us regular monkey/ape-fans, normal service will be resumed shortly.

 

Hungry Stomach T-Shirt – Feed me!

This is exactly what my stomach looks like. Exactly. It’s spooky accurate.

I am hungry, but I am hungry for a very specific thing. And this Hungry Stomach T-Shirt highlights my yearning to ingest this thing. It is of course, the Christmas Sandwich.

Let’s first talk about the tee. It’s a great looking, simplistic design that’s perfect for those of us with rumbling tummies. It was created by Deem and it’s well worth checking out his whole collection which is full of gems. Now, back to the Christmas sandwich – my current culinary obsession. I speak of course of the special pre-packaged sarnies that supermarkets and sandwich stores bring out at the end of each year. They’re typically filled with turkey, bacon, stuffing and cranberry, but there can be a bit of variation too, and often is. Each day, my associate, Jim (who runs urbanartbomb.com – a great site if you’re into your graffiti) wait patiently until lunchtime, and then rush to the shops to see if anyone has released these festive delicacies on the world yet. Alas, we’ve found none so far. But after some tweeting and emailing, we have a list of dates for those of you in the UK. Christmas sandwiches will be released in these stores on these dates:

Sainsbury’s – 29th Oct

M&S – 31st Oct

Waitrose – 7th Nov

Pret A Manger – 12th Nov

I’m still waiting to hear from several others. A calendar has been made. This is the only bit of Christmas I really enjoy (Scrooge!) and I can’t wait. In fact, I’m dribbling on myself right now just thinking of it.

Back to the t-shirt, and you can get your own hungry tee from spreadshirt.com where it’ll cost you a mere $24.90. It comes in lots of colours and sizes go from Small to XXL. When I get round to reviewing the Christmas sandwiches, I’ll let you know which one is best. Until then, I’ll just keep dreaming of them…

 

Alternative Jubilee T-Shirt – Spirit of ’77

God save the Queen…

Here is your Alternative Jubilee T-Shirt, brought to you courtesy of 1977 and, of course, the Sex Pistols. But oddly, despite promoting this today, I’m actually a bit of a royalist. Doesn’t make sense does it?

When I say that I’m a royalist, it’s because I consider myself to be a historian. The monarchy provides this amazing link with history – a continuity (except for the bit with Oliver Cromwell) that very few countries have. Think of the history lessons you had at school – wherever you are, I bet you learnt about at least one British King or Queen. And Betty does a pretty good job too, bringing in tourists and opening stuff. What I don’t get is the mindless flag-waving of my fellow subjects. I don’t get why we have to spend so much money on her to celebrate a day 60 years ago that means nothing to most of us. And most people are dumb enough to call it a Union Jack when it’s on land too! So today, I’m going very 1977. My punkiness is coming through. I shall shortly head off to start spitting on people. And I will be wearing this too.

Pick up your own iconically punk Sex Pistols T-Shirt by heading over to electric t-shirts where a bit of rebellion (if you forget about the butter adverts) will set you back a paltry £12.95. There are five sizes from Small to XXL. Now go shave your head, put on your bomber jacket and your DMs and lets have a proper celebration of Britishness.

Star Wars T-Shirts – Happy May the 4th

Today, I shall be taking my lightsaber into work.

Happy May The 4th! Merry Star Wars Day! To celebrate this wonderful day, when a man can dream of being Han Solo or Luke Skywalker, let’s look at some Star Wars T-Shirts. Get your Jedi on.

I’ve chosen four of my favourite Star Wars tees from truffleshuffle.com, all brought to you by different designers. So let’s take a look at each, going clockwise from top left.

Stormtrooper Graffiti designed by Addict – The Stormtrooper is an iconic image. This cloned soldier, loyal to the Emperor and thankfully susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick, has never looked better than in this Mitchy Bwoy designed tee. It’s a beautiful illustration and the colour scheme works great. £24.99 and available in S, M, XL and XXL.

Return of The Jedi designed by Junk Food – A classic depiction of our three heroes, Han, Leia and Luke in black and yellow. A great “thrift-shop” style to this tee takes you back to 1983. It’ll set you back £32.99 and it’s only currently available in M and L.

Boombox Vader – A great black t-shirt. You can’t help wonder what he’s listening to. Same Ol’ Sithuation? Skywalking In Memphis? Wherever I Padme Roam? Anyway, this badboy is £22.99 and comes currently in S, M, L and XXXL.

Who’s Your Daddy designed by Chunk – He’s the best worst dad in a galaxy far, far away. Vader is a true icon and Chunk give him some great humour here. This khaki version is only available to Ewoks and Jawas in XS at the moment.

May the force be with you.

Glennz Tees. Yes. All of them. So Awesome.

Easily the funniest t-shirts ever made. Brilliant.

I couldn’t pick just one of them! I couldn’t! Every t-shirt that I desperately want is on this site, and I want every t-shirt on this site. Glennz.com is a tee-lover’s heaven.

Normally when I look at a single tee, I take some time to talk about some random weird stuff before I tell you how much it costs and what colours it comes in, etc. But how can I do that with Glennz? Glenn Jones, the man behind these designs is nothing short of awesome and he never fails to get me laughing. Now, I could philosophise about how his quirky Antipodal humour (He’s from New Zealand – hence the NZ at the end of GLENNZ), coupled with a fondness for US Pop-Culture are responsible for my amusement, however I feel it’s easier to say that funny is funny and this guy knows funny. He lives in Funny House on Funny Street in Funny Town. The guy owns Funny.

I had to review something from Glennz but how the hell do you pick just a single Tee!? So I picked four of my favourites (clockwise from top left): Office Chat, Robo-T, Chameleon and Fluke. By tomorrow I’ll have more favourites. All of those tees come in at $21.95, come in various sizes and only in the colour shown (like you’d want to change it!), but, for a bargain, be sure to check out “The Save Wave” at the top of the store page where discounts are updated daily.

And check out the whole range of wonderful t-shirts. You won’t regret it. They’re just awesome.

Peace of Toast T-Shirt – I don’t get it, but I like it…

Peace of Toast? Is that it?

Ok, so what I’m calling the Peace of Toast T-shirt is actually called Pop Up and it comes from Japan. Having seen this, I’m desperately trying to find out if I can ship it to the UK. Or if my bank account works in Yen.

I have a few places I like to go to check out t-shirts on the net and I found this in one of them. When I find a tee from a site that’s not in English and I can’t tell if you can ship it to the US or UK, I usually leave it, but this one I had to write about. I love it. It’s just nuts, but in a very simplistic line-drawing kind of way. I’m guessing that it means Peace of Toast but I have no idea if that’s right or not. It could just be a random image that inadvertently invites the pun. Not being able to read Japanese, I can’t tell. When it comes to creating kooky, fantastic things, no country does it as well as Japan and this tee deserves shouting about. Perfect for hippies and fans of toast.

You can grab your own (possibly) from ttrinity.jp where it will cost you ¥2100 (I think) and it comes in many colours and sizes. Many. If only ordering it was a peace of cake. *groans*

Sonicless In Seattle T-shirt – I just can’t imagine…

Solidarity with Seattle

Ok, this is a little bit of a personal one for me. The Sonicless In Seattle T-shirt may require some explanation if you’re not into your basketball.

A few years ago, I went to live in Seattle for a few months. It’s a beautiful city with some of the nicest people in the world living there. It reminded me of home somewhat, and most of this was due to the rain. The have lots of rain. Serious rain. Rain that wants wants everyone to know that it is rain. Therefore, indoor sports are important, and basketball was the biggie. I went to quite a few Sonics games while I was there and it was great. The atmosphere was friendly and fun, the Key Arena was a good space and the team were doing alright too. A couple of years later and the team had been sold. Not only that, it had been moved to another part of the country and basketball left Seattle. Now that sucks. It sucks a lot. Imagine your favourite football team being moved to another town. Doesn’t bear thinking about, does it?

To see how Seattle responded, check out the sonicsgate.org website. But I do love this sonics tee which you can grab from US site rumplo.com for $20. For me, it’s a memento of a beautiful town, a great team and a reminder of the travesty that came to be. An NBA without the Sonics is like a blunt pencil: pointless.